What are some strategies for coping with homesickness during the first few weeks

Okay, so I just moved across the country for university. Like, really across the country. Everyone warned me about homesickness, but I thought I’d be fine. Now I’m two weeks in and it’s hitting me hard. It’s not just missing my family, although that’s a big part of it. It’s missing my dog, my favorite coffee shop, the way the sun sets in my hometown… everything feels foreign and a little overwhelming.

I’m trying to make friends, but everyone already seems to have their groups. I’m also struggling to adjust to the coursework and the sheer size of everything here. I know it’s only been two weeks, but I feel so isolated and down.

Specifically, I’m wondering what are some practical things I can do right now to feel better? Things that don’t involve just calling my mom every five minutes (though I do that sometimes!). I’m looking for tips that worked for you if you’ve experienced this. Did you have a ritual? A specific activity? Any advice is appreciated! I really want to make this work, but right now it feels impossible.

Answer

Homesickness, that aching feeling of missing home and loved ones, is a common experience, especially during the initial weeks of a significant transition like starting college, a new job far from home, or an extended stay abroad. Successfully navigating this period requires proactive strategies that address both the emotional and practical aspects of being away from familiar surroundings.

Building a New Routine and Environment:

• Establish a Daily Structure: Create a consistent schedule encompassing mealtimes, study/work periods, exercise, social activities, and downtime. A routine provides a sense of normalcy and predictability, combating the disorientation that can exacerbate homesickness.

• Personalize Your Space: Transform your new room or living area into a comfortable and inviting haven. Decorate with familiar items such as photos, posters, comforting textiles, and small objects that hold sentimental value. The aim is to create a space that reflects your personality and provides a sense of belonging.

• Explore Your Surroundings: Actively familiarize yourself with your new environment. Take walks or bike rides to discover local parks, shops, restaurants, libraries, and other points of interest. Identify practical locations, such as the nearest grocery store, laundromat, or post office. Becoming familiar with your surroundings will ease anxiety and foster a sense of connection to your new community.

Connecting and Building Relationships:

• Engage in Social Activities: Actively seek opportunities to meet new people and build friendships. Join clubs, organizations, sports teams, or volunteer groups that align with your interests. Attend social events, orientation activities, and campus gatherings. Even small interactions can help combat feelings of isolation and loneliness.

• Initiate Conversations: Don’t be afraid to introduce yourself to others and strike up conversations. Ask open-ended questions to learn about their backgrounds, interests, and experiences. Actively listen and show genuine interest in what they have to say. Building rapport with others is crucial for establishing a support network.

• Maintain Connections with Home (But in Moderation): Schedule regular phone calls, video chats, or email exchanges with family and friends back home. Sharing your experiences and hearing about theirs can provide comfort and reassurance. However, avoid becoming overly reliant on these connections, as it can hinder your ability to fully engage in your new environment. Set boundaries for communication to prevent constant comparison and longing for home.

Managing Emotions and Thought Patterns:

• Acknowledge and Validate Your Feelings: Recognize that homesickness is a normal and temporary emotion. Allow yourself to feel sad, lonely, or nostalgic without judgment. Suppressing these feelings can actually prolong the experience.

• Challenge Negative Thoughts: Identify and challenge negative thought patterns that contribute to homesickness. For example, if you find yourself thinking, "I’ll never fit in here," reframe the thought to something more positive and realistic, such as, "It takes time to build relationships, but I’m making an effort to connect with others."

• Practice Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Engage in activities that promote relaxation and reduce stress, such as meditation, deep breathing exercises, yoga, or spending time in nature. Mindfulness techniques can help you stay present in the moment and appreciate your current surroundings.

• Focus on the Positive Aspects: Concentrate on the opportunities and experiences that your new environment offers. Make a list of things you are grateful for or excited about. Shifting your focus from what you are missing to what you are gaining can significantly improve your mood.

Practical Considerations and Problem-Solving:

• Take Care of Your Physical Health: Maintain a healthy diet, get regular exercise, and prioritize sleep. Physical well-being is closely linked to emotional well-being. Lack of sleep, poor nutrition, and inactivity can exacerbate feelings of sadness and anxiety.

• Seek Support from Resources Available: Utilize the resources available to you in your new environment. Colleges often have counseling services, health centers, and student support programs designed to help students adjust to campus life. Similarly, workplaces may offer employee assistance programs. Don’t hesitate to reach out for professional help if you are struggling to cope with homesickness on your own.

• Set Realistic Expectations: Understand that adjusting to a new environment takes time. Be patient with yourself and avoid putting too much pressure on yourself to feel completely settled right away. Allow yourself to experience a range of emotions and celebrate small victories along the way.

• Learn New Skills: Homesickness can sometimes stem from a feeling of helplessness or a lack of independence. Use this time to learn new skills, such as cooking, budgeting, or doing laundry. Mastering these practical skills can boost your confidence and make you feel more self-sufficient.

• Plan Something to Look Forward To: Having something exciting on the horizon can provide a sense of anticipation and motivation. Plan a weekend trip, a visit from family or friends, or an upcoming event that you are looking forward to.